Sentence Effectiveness

Site:	Plateforme pédagogique de l'Université Sétif2
Cours:	Written Expression
Livre:	Sentence Effectiveness

Imprimé par:	Visiteur anonyme
Date:	Saturday 18 May 2024, 21:14

Table des matières

1. Run on Sentences
2. Faulty Parallelism
3. Fragments
4. Conciseness

1. Run on Sentences

Definition

A run-on sentence occurs when two or more independent clauses are not joined correctly. An

independent clause is a group of words that can stand alone as a sentence, as in, “the dog runs.”

Your writing may be confusing or unclear if independent clauses are joined incorrectly.

There are two types of run-on sentences: fused sentences and comma splices.

A fused sentence occurs when independent clauses run together with no marks of punctuation or

coordinating conjunctions to separate them.

Fused sentence: My professor read my paper she said it was excellent.

independent clause independent clause

A comma splice occurs when two or more independent clauses are joined only by a comma.

Comma splice: My cat meowed angrily, I knew she wanted food.

independent clause independent clause

REVISE RUN-ON SENTENCES in one of four ways:

• Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, yet, so, or, nor, for). When you

join two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction, place a comma before the

coordinating conjunction.

Run-on: My professor read my paper she said it was excellent.

Correction: My professor read my paper, and she said it was excellent.

• Use a semicolon (or, in some cases, a colon or a dash). You can use a semicolon alone

or with a transitional expression (e.g., however, at any rate, in contrast, as a result, etc.).

Run-on: My cat meowed angrily, I knew she wanted food.

Correction: My cat meowed angrily; I knew she wanted food.

Correction with a transitional expression:

My cat meowed angrily; therefore, I knew she wanted food.

• Separate the independent clauses into sentences. This is an especially good

technique when one of the independent clauses is very long.

Run-on: It seemed to Wanda that her daughter had more than enough

crayons, they were strewn across the bedroom floor and

some of them were broken, and, worse still, someone had

used the stub of a red crayon to mark a sinister smiley face

on the wall.

Correction: It seemed to Wanda that her daughter had more than enough

crayons. They were strewn across the bedroom floor, and

some of them were broken. Worse still, someone had used the

stub of a red crayon to mark a sinister smiley face on the

wall.

• Restructure the sentence by subordinating one of the clauses. You can subordinate

a clause if one of the independent clauses seems less important than the other. Here

are a few examples in which one of the clauses has been subordinated (indicated here

by underlining). Note that a subordinated clause is no longer independent—it cannot

stand on its own as a sentence.

Run-on: The largest tree by volume in the world is the General

Sherman Sequoia, it is a little over 52,500 cubic feet.

Correction: The largest tree by volume in the world is the General

Sherman Sequoia, which is a little over 52,500 cubic feet.

Run-on: Toni Morrison is a professor at Princeton University, she

wrote the novel The Bluest Eye.

Correction: Toni Morrison, a professor at Princeton University, wrote

The Bluest Eye.

Run-on: I told my roommate I would be late, she still locked me out.

Correction: Although I told my roommate I would be late, she still locked

me out.

Run-on: I told the children I would read to them they said they

wanted to sit by me so they could look at the pictures.

Correction: When I told the children I would read to them, they said they

wanted to sit by me so they could look at the pictures.

2. Faulty Parallelism

Understanding Parallel Structure

Parallel structure (also called parallelism) is the repetition of a chosen grammatical form within a sentence. By making each compared item or idea in your sentence follow the same grammatical pattern, you create a parallel construction.

Example

Not Parallel:

Ellen likes hiking, the rodeo, and to take afternoon naps.

Parallel:

Ellen likes hiking, attending the rodeo, and taking afternoon naps.

Ellen likes to hike, attend the rodeo, and take afternoon naps.

Using Parallel Structure

With Coordinating Conjunctions

When you connect two or more clauses or phrases with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, or so), use parallel structure.

Example

Not Parallel:

My best friend took me dancing and to a show.

Parallel:

My best friend took me to a dance and a show.

With Correlative Conjunctions

When you connect two clauses or phrases with a correlative conjunction (not only…but also, either…or, neither…nor, if…then, etc.), use parallel structure.

Example

Not Parallel:

My dog not only likes to play fetch, but also chase cars.

Parallel:

My dog not only likes to play fetch, but he also likes to chase cars.

My dog likes not only to play fetch, but also to chase cars

With Phrases or Clauses of Comparison

When you connect two clauses or phrases with a word of comparison, such as than or as, use parallel structure.

Example

Not Parallel:

I would rather pay for my education than financial aid.

Parallel:

I would rather pay for my education than receive financial aid.

3. Fragments

Fragments

A sentence fragment is a group of words that looks like a sentence, but actually isn’t a complete sentence. Sentence fragments are usually missing a subject or verb, or they do not express a complete thought. While it may be punctuated to look like a complete sentence, a fragment cannot stand on its own.

Distinguishing Features

Here are the distinguishing features of a sentence fragment:

It is missing a subject
- Example: Ran to the store faster than a rabbit. (Who ran?)
It is missing a verb or has the wrong verb form
- Example: My favorite history teacher. (What did the teacher do or say?)
It is a leftover phrase
- Example: For better or worse. (What is better or worse? What is it modifying?)
It is an abandoned clause
- Example: When my mother married my father. (What happened when “my mother married my father?”)
It is a misuse of “such as, for example, especially,” etc.
- Example: Such as, my brother was practicing martial arts. (It is unclear; did something happen when my brother was practicing martial arts?)

Three Ways to Turn a Fragment into a Complete Sentence

Attach
Attach the fragment to a nearby complete sentence
- Incorrect: If the front door is locked. Use the back entrance.
- Correct: If the front door is locked, use the back entrance.
Revise
Revise the fragment by adding whatever is missing – subject, verb, complete thought.
- Incorrect: Joe to train every day. (A verb is missing. Also, “to train” is the wrong verb form. Joe does what every day?)
- Correct: Joe trains every day for the marathon next month.
- Correct: Joe is training every day for the marathon next month.
Rewrite
Rewrite the fragment or the entire passage that contains the fragment.
- Incorrect: Our new landlord was expected to make changes. Such as fixing the plumbing, installing a new washer, and replacing the security gate. Has not done any of it yet and weeks have passed.
- Correct: Our new landlord was expected to make changes, such as fixing the plumbing, installing a new washer, and replacing the security gate lock. Weeks have passed, and he still has not done any of it yet.

4. Conciseness

Conciseness

In speech or writing, the term conciseness refers to language that's brief and to the point. To be effective, concise writing must deliver a clear message using an economy of words. Concise writing doesn't waste time with circumlocution, padding, or verbosity. Repetition, unnecessary jargon, and needless details are to be avoided. When you minimize clutter, readers are more likely to remain engaged, understand and remember your message—and even act on it, should that be your goal.

4 Rules for Concise Writing

Avoid jargon.
Keep it simple. The less flowery your prose, the more accessible will be.
Use shorter words instead of long ones when appropriate.
Edit out empty phrases and delete common redundancies.

How to Avoid Wordiness

Replace Vague Words with Specific Ones

Vague or abstract words tend to conceal your meaning. On the other hand, specific words precisely and shortly convey your meaning.

Example:

Vague: The Acme Corporation is developing a new consumer device that allows users to communicate vocally in real time.
Specific: The Acme Corporation is developing a new cell phone.

Avoid Overusing Expletives at the Beginning of Sentences

Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb.

Example #1:

Wordy: It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.
Concise: The governor signs or vetoes bills.

Example #2:

Wordy: There are four rules that should be observed.
Concise: Four rules should be observed.

Avoid Overusing Noun Forms of Verbs

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations.

Example:

Wordy: The function of this department is the collection of accounts.
Concise: This department collects accounts.

Eliminate Unnecessary Words

Unnecessary words can come in many forms like excessive detail, repetitive words, or redundant words.

Excessive Detail

Before: I received and read the email you sent yesterday about the report you’re writing for the project. I agree it needs a thorough, close edit from someone familiar with your audience.
After: I received your email about the project report and agree it needs an expert edit.

Repetitive words

Before: The engineer considered the second monitor an unneeded luxury.
After: The engineer considered the second monitor a luxury.

Redundant words

Before: The test revealed conduction activity that was peculiar in nature.
After: The test revealed peculiar conduction activity.

Replace Multiple Negatives with Affirmatives

Affirmatives, instead, convey concise meaning that needs no interpretation.

Before: Your audience will not appreciate the details that lack relevance.
After: Your audience will appreciate relevant details.